Chapter Seventeen: Where.Can.We.Go.From.Here? AJ shifted in his seat, trying to get some sleep. The others were either reading or snoring. Brian was doing the latter.
"Late at night...I reach to hold you tight, but you're not there...I know you still care..." AJ caught himself muttering one of their songs. "If I don't have you...to hold onto...I can't go on, in this world alone, baby it's true..." He closed his eyes, still keeping his voice low, barely whispering. "...If you said goodbye...girl I would die...I'm a star with no light, a day with no night...If I don't have you." He sighed. Brian shifted in his sleep. AJ opened his eyes and looked out the window, wondering what Chin was doing at that very moment.(the same time, at our house)
Jenny pulled me over to the empty family room while the rest of us were eating breakfast in the kitchen.
"I thought you should know something..."
"What?" I munched on my bagel.
"When you ran out after Chin, you both missed it..." Jenny continued, looking around to see if Chin was in earshot.
"Are you going to tell me or not?"
"AJ...loves Chin."
"What?" I coughed.
"You heard me."(Orlando)
"Brian?"
"Hmm?" Brian unbuckled his seatbelt, ready to get off the plane.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For being so difficult."
"Don't worry about it, J." Brian gave his friend a reassuring smile.
"I really do want her here..." AJ sighed.
"I know."
"But I guess this is for the best..."
"Why do you say that?"
"Cuz it should be easier now..."
"Easier?"
"To get over her."The next day, on the 8th of January, all of us were off...well, that had been the original plan. Sometime in December, we had secretly decided to pay a visit to AJ and everyone in Orlando for his birthday. We hadnít known that the Boys were coming for New Yearís Eve...or that we would have such an event happen...or that a fight would occur. Chin refused to go, and Jenny opted to stay home with her. In a split second decision, Julie stated that she would stay back as well...we all knew it had something to do with seeing Nick.
The Boys greeted us warmly, but didn't ask about where the other half of our household was. AJ, Brian, and Nick's faces seemed to show a bit of disappointment, but they didn't push for answers or anything. It felt like we were all walking on eggshells.(1/9/00, 4:10AM Pacific Time)
"Chin...what are you doing?" Julie demanded sleepily as she walked into a mess. Chin's clothes were thrown all over her room and there was a half-empty suitcase on her bed.
"I have to go to Orlando..." she muttered, throwing some bath essentials into a small bag and tossing it into the suitcase.
"Where are you going...?" Jenny walked in, rubbing her eyes.
"I have to go...I have to go..." Chin finished packing and sat on her luggage to shut it.
"What? Why? What the heck is going on!?" Jenny demanded. Chin paused and looked up at her friends and then down at her feet. She opened her fist to show a silver necklace resting in the palm of her hand.
"AJ...it's his birthday today...I have to be there. Before we had the fight, he told me he wanted me to be there on his birthday. And then we fought and it was never brought up again. I don't care what happens between us, what unmeant words are said. I just know that if I don't get there, I'll never forgive myself." Chin placed the necklace back on her neck.
"I'm coming with you," Jenny said.
"What?" Julie yelped. Jenny ran off to her room to pack. "Chin...But he said-" Julie began but was cut off.
"I don't care what he said, Julie. I know he cares. I do." Chin fingered her necklace. "He told me he does. And will...forever."
(20 minutes later)
Chin, Jenny and Julie ran to the next flight for Orlando.
"I can't believe we're doing this. With my luck, I forgot spare underwear," Jenny sighed, trying to deal with her heavy carry-on.
"Give me your cell," Chin gasped as they reached their gate. Julie tossed a small cell phone at Chin.
"Who are you calling?"
"Brian?" Chin replied to the hello on the other line.
(In Florida)
"Ch-" Brian began to say her name but was shushed by her immediately and was told to listen. He looked at his watch - it was 7:30AM for him...why was she awake at 4:30AM?
Chin told Brian her plan to surprise AJ for his birthday. Brian sighed happily. No matter what happens to those two, they can't get rid of each other that easily, he thought.(9AM, Eastern time)
"Morning, sunshine!"
"Wha?" AJ opened his eyes to find Brian hovering over him. "What are you doing here?"
"You always forget I have keys to your house...Get up, Birthday Boy! We have a surprise for you!" Brian yanked his friend out of his bed.
"No, please. I just want to stay in bed..." AJ mumbled as he was rushed to the bathroom.
"Trust me, you'll love this surprise."
"Not as much as I would love to see Chin..." AJ muttered as Brian plopped toothpaste on his toothbrush for him.(1:30PM)
"Do you have the right house?" Julie laughed as Chin drove up the fifth drive way.
"Yes! Of course I do!" Chin smacked Julie and jumped out of the rental car.
"C'mon, you guys!" Jenny whined.
"Geez, I was just joking..." Julie rolled her eyes and nursed her arm as both girls followed Chin.Cathy, Hannah, and I had been staying with Howie, and all of us had agreed with AJ to go out to dinner. Kevin and Nick had planned to meet up with us, but Brian had explained over the phone the change in plans, and we were all presently sitting in AJ's house, trying to keep the birthday boy occupied as long as possible. We had eaten breakfast, watched a movie, been for a walk, had lunch, and Chin still hadn't shown up.
"So where's the surprise?" AJ asked for the 20th time that day.
"She-"
"IT! It'll be here soon..." Kevin recovered for Nick almost spoiling the surprise. Just as AJ was about to sigh, the doorbell rang.
"AJ!" Howie grinned and pulled his friend to his feet from the couch.
"Go get it!" Cathy suggested as Hannah and I pushed AJ to the door.
"You don't have to shove!" AJ shook his head and opened the door. "Chin..." he breathed as he saw her standing on his porch. "...What are you doing here?"
"It's my best friend's birthday," she replied simply, "I wouldn't miss it for the world..." She gave AJ a weak smile as her insides shook like crazy. What if Alex had meant what he had said? What if she was making a fool out of herself just standing there? Chin subconsciously began to fiddle with her necklace again. Jenny cleared her throat.
"Can we come in?" Julie asked politely.
"Oh, of course! I'm sorry..." AJ stepped out of the way as Julie and Jenny stepped in, pulling a nervous Chin along. AJ took a deep breath.
"Chin, can we talk?" AJ whispered to her as she was dragged inside.
"Sure," she whispered back.Jenny joined as Cathy, Hannah, and I ran out, yelling that we were going to get a cake. Kevin, Brian, and Howie followed, knowing AJ and Chin had to be left alone. No one noticed Julie and Nick, who stayed in the main room, sitting on either end of one of the couches.
A long, uncomfortable silence settled over the room. Neither knew what to say.
"Why didn't you come with Sarah, Kat, and Hannah?" Nick finally spoke. Julie looked at her shoes.
"Chin needed me," she replied.
"Was that all?"
"...No," she finally admitted. "Did you mean what you said?"
"What?"
"When AJ and Chin's fight ended...you said...you still loved me..." she trailed off. Nick got up and sat next to her.
"I miss you," he whispered.
"I'm right here," Julie replied softly, looking at her hands. Nick took her hands in his.
"But youíll be gone, and then what'll I have?" he asked, resting his forehead against hers. She sighed. "If I had never met you, I wouldn't like you..." Nick began. "If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you...If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you..." He tilted her chin up with his finger till she looked at him "But I did, I do and I will."In AJ's bedroom, he and Chin sat silently, unaware that we had departed, or that Nick and Julie were a few rooms down. Chin didn't know what to do. Neither did AJ. They sat, mindlessly looking into space, waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the other to speak. Chin was contemplating her actions, about whether or not she should have come. She thought it had been a good idea when she saw his face almost light up...but now...what was this? What did this silence mean? AJ's mind and heart were having one of their many arguments. He didn't know which to believe. He looked up and saw Chin fiddling with the necklace.
She put it back on. He smiled.
The silence was broken when Chin finally spoke up.
"You said we needed to talk." She looked at him.
"Yeah." He looked away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
The horrid silence returned for a moment. AJ felt like he was leaning over a cliff, not sure whether or not he had a strong enough rope to prevent him from falling.
"That's it?"
Snap. The rope broke.
"What do you mean 'that's it'?" He looked at her. It had taken all his strength to do that; now what did she want?
"Okay, you're sorry." She stood up, as if ready to leave.
He couldn't believe what was happening. Why was she mad? He had apologized.
"I don't know what came over me, Chin..." He reached out and grabbed her hand before she got too far away. Maybe the rope didn't snap. He couldn't just fall. He had to try and save this. "You know I care for you...I will, forever," he whispered. Chin softened and turned around. She retraced her steps and quietly went to sit down by him. She leaned her head on his shoulder.
"What's wrong with us, Alex?" she whispered. He rested his head on hers.
"I wish I knew." He closed his eyes and held her hand. "I'm so, so sorry," he said almost inaudibly. "Chin, the ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands. If you want our friendship to stop, let go. If not, don't let go..."
To his dismay, Chin let go...
Only to hug him.
"Just never hurt me again...ever," she spoke into the crook of his neck "Please."
"I promise." He wrapped his arms around her. He started humming.
"What song is that?" she asked, pulling away a bit.
"Listen girl, I don't know where to start, but every word I say, comes straight from the heart..." he sang softly. Chin smiled. "I've been so wrong, never meant to hurt you...Oh, girl, I'm sorry for what I put you through..."
"Every time I close my eyes," she stated the title.
"Oddly enough, one of Brian's songs has actually been in the back of my mind since I woke up today."
"Which one?"
"'Where can we go from here'...I have this thing with our songs recently, I don't know why," AJ laughed lightly, remembering the plane.
"How fitting..." Chin tried to smile. "Oh, before I forget..." She pulled out of his embrace to reach into her pocket. She pulled out her hand, but left it in a fist. "I got this awhile ago...happy birthday, Alex." She opened her hand. In it, sat a small gold ring that resembled the silver one that he had given her.
"I'll wear it always." He kissed her forehead and slipped it onto his ring finger.~*~*~*~
(that evening)"Arright, who's paying?" Hannah asked as we stepped into a gorgeous restaurant. AJ smiled and glanced at everyone.
"Not Alex, that's for sure..." Chin nudged him.
"Well then...you?" AJ wiggled his eyebrows.
"I don't have that kind of money..." Chin frowned and looked at her purse.
"How about we split it?" I suggested, "And we all pitch in for AJ's meal?"
"We can all pitch in a dollar..." Nick gave AJ a big smile.
"What kind of dinner can you buy for eleven dollars?!" Julie exclaimed and swatted Nick.
"I was only kidding!" he whined.
"Big baby..." Cathy coughed and Howie laughed.
"Table for eleven please," Jenny told the man in the front desk.
"Wait..." Brian walked up beside Jenny. "We have reservations," he told the man, who nodded.
"Welcome, Mr.Littrell..." the man said and led us to a private room.
"Whoa there," Cathy whistled.
"You know that man?" Chin asked Brian.
"We are the Backstreet Boys..." Brian blew at his nails and rubbed them on his jacket. We all rolled our eyes and sat down.
"Who does your highness want to sit next to?" Nick asked AJ, who laughed. Everyone glanced at Chin. She raised an eyebrow and innocently smiled.
"What?" she asked and sat down across from AJ.
"Hey!" AJ pouted and she laughed and got up from her seat.
"Tell me why we know so many babies..." Cathy sighed to Howie and they sat next to each other at the circular table. Chin sat next to AJ and on her other side sat Hannah, then Kevin, me, (Cathy, Howie,) Nick, Julie, Jenny, and then Brian, who was on the other side of AJ.
"So what are we ordering?" Hannah opened up a menu and frowned.
"How am I supposed to know what this is?" Jenny pointed at something on the menu.
"Don't worry, we preordered." Brian took Jenny's menu and folded it.
"How do you know what we like?" Julie pouted.
"We know...After being friends for this long, you guys don't trust us?" Nick asked, shaking his head. We all glanced at each other.
"No!"
AJ cracked a smile.
"So what does the Birthday Boy want to do?" I asked him.
"I know!" Chin grinned evilly at AJ and got up. She grabbed Brian and they left the room.
"Uh-oh..." Hannah joked.
"What are they planning...?" Julie asked. A few minutes later Chin and Brian came in with smiles.
"What's going on?" Nick questioned.
"Gi-irls..." Chin said in a sing song voice, "May I speak to you a moment?" She motioned towards the door.
"Okay, but if we get creamed or something..." I threatened.
"Don't worry!" Chin grabbed my wrist and pulled me to my feet. Hannah, Jenny, and Julie pretended to be scared while Cathy rolled her eyes.
"Lesgo!"
"What's going on?" AJ asked Brian when the girls had left.
"You'll see..." he grinned.
"This doesn't look good..." Kevin laughed. A few moments later, a man came in wheeling what looked like a Karoake machine. Brian watched as AJ's eyes widened. After the man left, we came in.
"I don't like this idea..." I grumbled to Chin.
"Come on! It's for Alex!" she exclaimed and grabbed a mic. "For your listening pleasure..." Chin pointed to AJ, "The Backstreet Girls..."(over half an hour later)
"I'm wiped out!" Hannah exclaimed heading for her seat.
"Thanks for the show, girls," AJ grinned as we all sat down.
"The food smells great!" Julie smiled as the waiters came in with our food. After everyone got their food and the waiters had left, Hannah spoke up.
"How do I eat this?" she questioned, examining her food and poking it. "It's as hard as a rock!"
"You don't eat that..." Kevin took her hand and led it to her chicken.
"Oh..." Hannah smiled sheepishly.
"How do you like your food?" Chin asked AJ.
"Grewt..." he mumbled, his mouth stuffed with food. Chin laughed and returned to her own meal.
"Nick!" Julie exclaimed at her boyfriend, "Slow down! You're gonna choke!"
"Wha?" Nick looked up from inhaling his dinner. Julie shook her head.
"Forget it!" she sighed.
"You like it?" Brian watched Jenny closely as she took the first bite.
"Eh..." she shrugged, teasing him.
"Eh?!" he exclaimed. She poked him.
"It's great!"
"Ow..." he whined. When she rolled her eyes he broke out in a smile. "Wanna try mine?" Brian stuck his fork in his potatoes and turned to Jenny, "Open wide..."
"Poke me and die..." Jenny glared and then opened her mouth.
"Grape?" Kevin asked me while I was in the middle of absent-mindedly applying some chapstick - it's such a freakin' habit. I turned to him confused, putting the LipSmacker back in my pocket.
"What?"
"Do...you...want...a...grape...?" he slowly spoke.
"Cute." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Watch this..." Kevin tossed a grape in the air and caught it in his mouth. Everyone clapped. He grinned, mouth closed.
"Is it cake time yet?" Hannah wiped her mouth with a napkin.
"I'll get it!" Brian offered and got up.
"I know I have the candles somewhere in here...never mind, they're already on the cake. Be right back." She got up from her seat. Seconds later, someone turned off the lights. Chin and Brian walked in with a cake, its candles all lit up.
"We got too lazy to put twenty-two candles on..." Brian explained as he placed the cake down in front of AJ.
"So the two blue candles represent the 'twenty' and the two white candles mean 'two'...Twenty two!" she grinned. AJ had to laugh. We all sang Happy Birthday to AJ. Chin, Brian, Jenny, Nick, and Cathy grabbed the five microphones we had and made themselves even louder. And instead of singing just 'AJ', Chin made us sing 'Alexander James McLean'.
"So blow out the candles!" Hannah impatiently yelped.
"Okay! Calm down!" AJ laughed. Everyone who had a mic returned to their seats.
"Don't forget to make a wish," Chin said softly.
I wish for happily-ever-after ending...With one blow, AJ blew out all four candles.
"So what did you wish for?" Nick asked as I flicked the light switch. AJ looked up at Nick as Brian handed him a knife.
"If I tell you, it won't come true, now will it?" he grinned and glanced at Chin, who was staring at his cake.
"AJ..." she whispered, pointing to it.
"What?" he asked looking down at it.
'WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND WHO YOU ARE. DOESN'T THAT SCARE YOU?' was written on the cake. Everyone drew in a sharp breath.
"How did that get on there?" Brian knitted his eyebrows in confusion.
"Does it seem stuffy in here?" Hannah choked, "I...I need to step outside..." She began to walk off, but Chin grabbed her hand.
"It was just a joke," Chin laughed...uneasily. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to frighten you guys."
"That was you?" Cathy gave Chin a disgusted look. When Chin looked Cathy in the eye, we saw fear, and knew it wasn't her. Then why did she lie and--
"Let's enjoy Alex's birthday the best we can, okay?" Chin forced a smile and the look in her eyes vanished. AJ watched Chin silently as she helped him cut the cake.
She didn't do it, did she?... He looked up to meet Brian's eyes.
It was clear what they said: 'Just go along with it for now...'
Everyone at the table shoved away any fear and anger they held for those 'stalkers'. This was our best friend's wouldn't let anyone or anything ruin it...Chapter Eighteen: Am.I.Everything.You.Need?
.If.I.Don't.Have.You. Index
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