Chapter Six: So.Many.Things.I.Need.To.Say "Hey - ya'lls wanna come to the VMA's?" Brian plopped down on a couch beside Jenny and me in the family room. All 10 of us had just gotten back from a morning walk with the dogs around the neighborhood.
"Wha...?" Chin blanked out.
"MTV's Video Music Awards..." AJ refreshed her memory. She nodded in comprehension.
"So...?" Brian asked, waiting for our answer.
"When is it?" Julie questioned from her position on another couch, in Nick's arms. He hugged her.
"September ninth," Nick whispered into her ear, so that only she could hear.
"September ninth," Howie answered, and informed the rest of us.
"Can't..." Cathy sighed and slumped down in her seat.
"Why not?" Kevin asked.
"It's called second year of college...starting the same week..." I groaned.
"Ouch," Nick tried to sympathize.~*~*~*~
"Hey, you know where Bri is?" Chin found Jenny in the backyard.
"Should I?" Jenny looked up. Chin raised an eyebrow.
"Just asking...Kat wanted to use his guitar..."
"Well, no, I don't know where he is. Sorry."
"You sure?"
"Do I look like I know?"
"Yes."
"Fine. He's on the phone. Again."
"Again...?"
"With Cindy."
"Oh. They seem to talk a lot, huh?"
"She called earlier this morning when Sarah, me, and him were heading down to breakfast. It's not even noon yet and they're on the phone again..." she trailed off, watching her puppy attempt to attack a bush. "Roky..." She went to save him.
"So, um, they a couple or something...?" Chin regretted asking the question as soon as the words left her mouth. Jenny retrieved the dog.
"You could say that. Who knows? They're 'perfect' together..." She sat in the hammock with Roky in her lap...clutching on to him as if that was all she had left of Brian.
"And of course no one's bitter about it, I see," Chin lightly smiled.
"I'm not. It's just..." Jenny trailed off again. Chin sat down beside her and made the hammock sink.
"Do you even know this girl?"
"No. It's not that I hate her or anything...It's just...something's wrong with me. I told myself I would stop liking him..."
"You can't force yourself to do that."
"And the whole 'perfect' thing. Nick thinks they ARE perfect or something. I heard him telling Julie that, like, yesterday," Jenny grunted. Roky squirmed and she let go of him. He went to go bother Kezia, who was sleeping under the shade of a tree on the grass.
"I don't know what to tell you, Jen."
"Then don't tell me anything. "
"I just wish you wouldn't let this get to you so badly."
"I wish that too. But it is...And I've gotta get rid of it."
"No. You can try to accept it-"
"THEN what - tell him? Um...no.""K...cya, Cinds," Brian hung up his cell phone. AJ looked up from some paperwork.
"So how's it going?"
"Huh?"
"With Cindy?"
"Good. I'm gonna leave soon to meet her for lunch."
"Then...I'm happy for you, man."
"Thanks...What about you?"
"What do you mean?"
"What about you...and Chin?" Brian wasn't sure if should have asked or not.
"What is that supposed to mean?" AJ got defensive.
"Age...you guys always fall asleep on the couch, so I just assumed she shared the same affection...did you tell her?"
"Why would I?"
"I dunno...I thought that's the natural way things go...you like a girl, you tell her..."
"Not Chin."
"Why not?"
"I dunno if I should tell you."
"Oh..." Brian sounded hurt.
"Promise you won't tell?" AJ sighed
"Man, I feel like a 7-year-old-girl again, I mean, this is like that one bus ride...but cross my heart!" Brian laughed as AJ smiled.
"Fine...See, she's got this fear...of falling so in love, then getting her heart broken..." he trailed off for a bit, weary from thinking about the subject, then continued, "...and she said she'd never believe if anyone her that they liked her...and...and..."
"But she should believe that you're being truthful, and that you wouldn't hurt her," Brian broke in.
"But what if I do?...I'd kill myself."
"You won't do either."
"Well, it'd kill me...I don't know, man. I'm not saying that she will fall in love with me, that's just my hope...but if she does, there's the chance that I WILL hurt her, somehow..." AJ shook his head. The phone rang. Not Brian's, but one of the lines in the house. AJ picked it up, being the closest to a console, "Hello?"
"Hey, is Chin there?"
"Prolly somewhere. I'll go find her. Who should I say is calling?"
"Jack."
AJ froze for a moment.
"K...hang on," AJ cupped his hand over the phone. "It's Jack," he told Brian. It took Brian a moment to remember who Jack was. "I gotta go find Chin..." he muttered, taking the cordless phone with him.
"Hey, J," Brian called after him.
"Yeah?" AJ turned around at the door. He made sure his hand was still cupped over the mouthpeice of phone.
"I think you should tell her...sometime, k? Don't let this Jack guy get to you-"
"He's not-"
"Whatever you say...Remember, so what if he's her ex? He's only a friend to her now. And she's your best friend for petesake - hey, don't give me that grin. So what if I say petesake? - ANYway - stop snickering at me! Lemme finish! - Look, basically, follow your heart. I know it sounds corny, but do it, k?"
"I'll think about it," AJ shrugged. "Gotta go find this girl before Jack kills me."Bounce, bounce...swish...bounce, bounce...boing, bounce, swish...bounce, bounce-
"Practicing?" I heard a voice. I stopped dribbling my basketball and turned around.
"Do you have a problem with that?" I smiled.
"Only that you keep missing," he grinned.
"Aw, Kev, I'm hurt! I JUST made a shot, THEN missed one - you only saw the latter."
"What ever you say, Sarah..."
"Meany..."
"Now why am I a meany?"
"Making fun of me..."
"Hey, you had your time with the cellophane - it's my turn with basketball," he smiled, and grabbed the ball out of my hands.
"Hey!"
"He steals the ball...dribbles up...shoots...and-"
"MISSES!" I laughed, as the ball bounced off the rim. Kevin frowned at his commentary being messed up.
"Why you practicing so early?"
"It's almost 4PM..."
"No, I mean...Isn't basketball a winter sport? Like...January?"
"It's called pre-season, dear."
"But isn't that, like...November?" he countered.
"Hey, I DO like to play for fun, mind you...are you saying I'm not allowed to practice when I want to, or something? "
"Oh, no - I'd never say that."
"Then what are you implying?" I grabbed the ball back and took a shot.
"That some of us would like to spend time with you while we're here," he replied, as the ball went through the net. I tried not to smile.
"Who says those people can't spend time with me in the driveway shooting hoops?" I asked, setting up for another shot.
"Nobody," he answered, and tried to block the shot.
"Oh...Richardson is beaten for the 2nd time tonight, folks. First by missing an EASY lay-up, and now with a weak defense!" I chuckled, as I sank another shot in the bucket.
"Why you little..." He got an evil glint in his eye and lunged at me. I shrieked, dodged him, and made another lay-up.
"Shall we say beaten down for the 3rd time, now?" I beamed. He gave a huff, grabbed the ball, and finally made a shot. He passed it to me.
"Let's play horse. Loser has to take the winner to dinner.""Aw, poor Brian," Cindy laughed as Brian made a face. He had been telling her of some of his embarrassing moments on stage.
"I'm not the worst though, believe me," he smiled, looking at her mesmerizing chocolate eyes.
Those beautiful eyes...Jenny has eyes like that...Wait, WHAT did I just think?
"I'd hope not," Cindy smiled and took a sip of her drink.
"I'm sorry you had to drive down so far to get to this place."
"Oh, don't worry. It's worth it to see you," Cindy smiled again.
"I still feel guilty, Cinds. I mean, you driving for over an hour just to get to a restaurant n' all..."
"Brian! Don't worry about it, okay?" Cindy's brown eyes twinkled. They looked too much like Jenny's... "Brian?"
"Yeah?" he snapped out of it.
"You okay?"
"Of course I am...I'm with you," he heard himself say, as he reached over the table to hold her hand."Can't today, Jack...yeah...mm-hmm...no, that's okay...oh, stoppit!" Chin laughed on the phone as she walked about her room.
AJ looked up from his spot on her nearby bed. He had come in to ask her something, and had lain down on his stomach, waiting for her to finish her phone call. But that had been about 20 minutes ago. She'd smiled at him now and then, motioning that she'd be off soon, but Jack kept on talking. When she wasn't looking, he would watch her, and when she'd turn to smile, any hint of aggravation that he had would just disappear with the warmth he felt. AJ had even forgotten what he had wanted to ask her...not that he minded staying in her room...in her presence. He had grabbed a book from my room earlier, and luckily, he had brought it in with him. Not that he was bored or anything - he could wait for Chin all day - but he needed something to make him look like he was occupied, so she wouldn't feel bad about keeping him waiting...he needed something to look at so she wouldn't catch him looking at her.
She gave him another "I'm sorry" look, and he smiled "that's okay". Unmoved on his stomach, propped up on his elbows, he quietly flipped through my book. Still on the phone, she came and sat by him for a minute, and gave him a little side-ways hug around his waist with her free arm. She got up after a few minutes, and went to sit at her desk in her swiveling chair. AJ smiled as he watched her slowly turn around and around as she tried to pay attention to what Jack was saying. With one finger, she began to twirl some strands of her black hair. She looked up and smiled at him again. He returned the smile and looked down at what he was "reading". He was about to absentmindedly flip yet another page, when a poem caught his eye..."With Honor"
If I have to be your best friend
If that's all that I can get
Then I'll take the job with honor;
I'll be the best one yet.
I'll offer you my shoulder
I'll show you how much I care
I'll be there when you need me
...I'm not going anywhere.
If I have to be your best friend
The one who hears you cry
Then I'll take the job with honor
I'll take the job with pride.
My love for you is stronger
Than you will ever know
But for you to ever love me
I will have to let you go.
You need time to find your purpose
You need time to sort your thoughts...
But when the course has ended,
And the race is finally run,
Remember it's your best friend
Who has loved you from day one.Chapter Seven: Just.A.Matter.Of.Time
.If.I.Don't.Have.You. Index
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